Do you find it difficult to rest?Oct 20, 2022
There was a time in my life I wished something would happen to me, so I ended up in the hospital.
I was tired and needed rest.
But I couldn't justify slowing down. I thought I had to work hard and keep pushing through the resistance, no matter how exhausted I felt. I couldn't take time to have fun, relax or rest.
Can you relate?
Part of me worried about what others would say. I was a high achiever, productive, and multi-tasker - I was known for getting things done.
And part of me didn't think I was worthy of taking up space. I had to earn my space every second of every day.
Up to that point, I had always been a morning person, and I woke up early and went to bed late to squeeze in as much into my day as possible.
I didn't watch tv, and social media wasn't really a thing, so I had very few distractions.
I was focused. I wanted to get ahead and prove myself and my worth, and I was ready to do whatever it took.
And then something happened.
I couldn't wake up in the morning.
Have you ever experienced one of those days when you cannot get yourself out of bed?
It felt like my whole body shut down and said, "no more."
Even though I was conscious, my body felt like it weighed a ton. I couldn't lift it out of bed. And my eyelids didn't want to open either.
It was like I was literally being weighed down or pinned down, entirely outside my control.
It was a challenging time.
I couldn't justify staying in bed until mid-morning and not getting anything done.
What would it mean about my value and my sense of worth?
I still thought I had to prove myself and push through resistance every second of the day.
But I couldn't.
And I spiralled down into a mild depression.
A few years later, the album REST by Glen Soderholm came out.
I wasn't a fan of Glen then. But I knew of him. And that word REST on his album cover drew me home in a way I had never been home before.
I heard my soul proclaim loudly, "oh yes!"
That word spoke to a deep yearning inside of me to BE.
Not to do more, achieve more or prove myself more.
It spoke to a yearning to simply be me - to breathe, ground, and be present in the moment as though the moment were enough.
And as it turned out, it was enough.
Each moment is enough.
We do not know each moment enough; we do not have a connection with the moment because we are constantly striving toward the future or replaying the past.
We seldom slow down enough to be present right here right now.
And that is my invitation to you. I invite you to BE.
Be you, and only you, for one breath at a time. Let go of anything else.
You can also join a moment of being in my weekly group meditation: https://www.awakken.com/meditation, or you can join me at one of my weekly improv sessions here: https://www.awakken.com/improv, or again, at my annual virtual retreat - INDIVISIBLE - here: https://www.awakken.com/indivisible
There are many ways to connect with me and BE you. I want you to experience what it means to BE you as you are - feeling worthy, loveable, and enough as you are right now. Feeling the fullness of this moment, right now, and the beauty contained in it.
There is nothing for you to do to be more worthy, loveable or enough.
You already are.
Live. Love. Laugh. It matters because YOU matter.
Is there something holding you back? Do you feel stuck, ashamed, unlovable, unworthy or depressed? Do you long to transform your life and create what you truly desire most?
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